Student Story: CT
One of our closest held values at Inner Fire is respect for student's autonomy. Not imposing adult intervention on students, or using force and consequences to control student behavior (unless if affects the wellbeing of others). For gifted and 2E students, this is particularly important.
CT is a brilliant 2E student who was extremely shy and withdrawn when he first came to our school as a kindergartener. He would just sit on his own and read all through the day; when peers and adults spoke to him, he gave zero reaction or acknowledgement and just kept on reading. He showed no interest in participating in class activities other than math, which he loves and we work on independently. He didn't eat his lunch. In PE class, he would sit on the sidelines and watch the other students play.
By the halfway point of the year, he became one of the most gregarious and popular students in class. PE became his favorite subject (tied with math), with him avidly recounting the goals he'd scored and plays he made to his parents every day at pick up. A tense and quiet introvert blossomed into an energetic, open, and popular social leader.
What did we do to bring about this transformation? Actually, it's specifically what we didn't do. We didn't force him to do things he didn't want. We didn't pressure or nag him. We didn't tell his parents that his behavior was a problem (it wasn't disrupting anyone else). All we did was let him know he was always welcome to participate, and that it was okay for him to take the space and time on his own that he needed.
The key message for CT is that he was safe at Inner Fire. He was safe to make his own choices without enduring adult scolding or nagging. His withdrawal and ignoring of adult communication was a defense mechanism for a child who had had too many people telling him what to do and how to do it for too long. (We later learned from his mom that he had grown up living with strict and traditional grandparents, who had aggressively directed and judged his actions.)
Once CT understood that he could take his space whenever he needed it, and that no one was going to pressure him to do things, he relaxed. And he saw that class wasn't too bad, that the other students seemed to be enjoying themselves. So he tried it, and enjoyed it, and tried it again. Occasionally there were some things he still sat out, particularly art which he did not enjoy and felt self conscious about. After a month or two, once we was comfortable at the school and had built trust with the staff, then the relationship was in place where we could encourage him more firmly (but still kindly) to participate, even in the classes he didn't like.
CT in art class
CT is now in his second year at Inner Fire. He still loves math (he's 5 years ahead of grade level). He fully participates in all the classes. He is on good terms with everyone and has several close friends. Hae still doesn't eat his lunch--and we still don't force him to.
More importantly, his entire confidence and demeanor has changed. He stands upright and smiles. He runs and jumps. He cracks jokes and enjoys being the class clown some of the time. His parents have told us how much of a change they've seen in him at home as well. For gifted 2E students like CT it's not just about the math acceleration, it's about making it safe for them to be their unique selves so they can relax and enjoy the school.
Sebastian 11/03/2025
