Three Lessons From Bluey

A few weeks ago during our spring break I was on a flight and got to catch a few episodes of Bluey. If you aren't familiar, Bluey is an exception family TV show from Australia. It's fun, positive, and full of entertainment and lessons for kids and adults alike--in bite sized 7-minute episode chunks. 

Here's three things I learned from watching a half hour.

The First Lesson

 In one scene, the younger daughter Bingo falls and scrapes her knee. Nothing major, but painful. What her dad said to her next was so good I had to take notes, word by word. He said:

"It's a good thing you're so tough"

He didn't make it a big deal. He didn't tell her she would be okay. If you listen closely, he didn't even tell her she was tough. He told her he was happy that she was tough--and this language makes all the difference.

In sales speak, this is called the "assumptive close." If you want your someone to believe something (e.g. that they are tough enough to handle a setback), don't tell them that directly--your statement will be assessed and questioned and may not be agreed with. Instead tell them something that presupposes the statement you want to make, so that as they are questioning it they have already agreed with your premise.

When Bingo hears her dad's statement she won't ask "am I tough?", she will ask "is it good or not?" And regardless what answer she comes to, she will have internalized she is tough without questioning it. 

Words are magic.

The Second Lesson

In this episode, the dad wants to teach his daughters chess. They're 6 and 5 years old, and while they're excited to learn something new with dad they are also easily distracted. They argue why it's called a knight and not a horse, they cook up a romance between the king and queen, and generally have lots of fun without really following the complicated rules of the game.

Dad is patient and kind, but still resolved to teach them properly. Mom is noticing this unfold from across the room and asks dad, "Why do you want them to learn chess?" He explains that smart people play chess, and he wants to help his daughters be smart. 

Mom then replies with what I believe to be an important lesson of early elementary (K-2) education:

"Focus on their hearts first. Their minds come after."

Kids will have plenty of years ahead to hone their brainpower, and at that age their thinking ability is still very much developing. It's important for them to be stimulated, but there's no need to push for intellectual acceleration while their still in first grade. That time is best spent building self-confidence, practicing kindness, developing resilience, and other critical life skills. Most kids aged 3-7 are ready to take on those challenges. With the exception of highly gifted students, most won't benefit from chess and long division at that age.

The Third Lesson

This one's a bit more controversial and I'm not sure yet which side I'm on, but it got me thinking. 

At a birthday party, the kids are playing "pass the parcel". This game features a gift with many layers of wrapping, and between each layer there is a prize. The parcel is passed around to music, and when the music stops whoever has it unwarps a layer and gets that prize. Then the music continues with the remaining kids until everyone gets a prize.

One father (Gen X, it is presumed) objects: "That's not how you play pass the parcel!" In the original rules, there's only one gift at the end that goes to the last unwrapper--kids who unwrap intermediate layers get nothing. Other parents (perhaps Millennials) object: it isn't the 80s anymore, the kids are going to hate the unfairness of that, why must you be such a stickler, etc.

When it's time for his son's birthday, the Gen X dad insists they play pass the parcel 'the right way'. When the first child unwraps the first layer, there's nothing there! The child is confused, and when told they get nothing begins to cry. Several other children cry, and there's a few glowers from parents at this result. Only the guest who got the end prize is happy and very much so--it's a far superior prize, given there's only one instead of many.

When that child's party comes around, he wants to play pass the parcel in this new way, with one big prize. He doesn't win, but he still thinks its pretty fun. Eventually, the new (old) rules catch on--kids like that it's more exciting, and once they've gotten over the initial shock of loss, they'd rather see someone win a really great prize than have everyone get something small. They learn to enjoy congratulating the winner rather than complaining about their loss.

Is this a better system? I don't know. But I do agree that kids are more resilient than we give them credit for: unexpected changes will always have some complaining and friction, but they get over it pretty quick once they know what to expect. And that process of experiencing some pain or fear or other negative feeling, then seeing yourself recover from it over time--that's what build confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence.

Sebastian

 04/2026